respiteden | for Pathy

[He watches, wary, for any sign that the exhaustion is feigned. Itachi is steady, as much a fixed point as he has ever been, but this particular point is ... confirmed when he speaks. Sharingan meets Sharingan, a mutual sweep of suspicion and, for Sasuke, ingrained training. It's been a decade since he meeting his brother without Sharingan at the ready; the moments without the greyed-sharp clarity of vision are few and the memories increasingly faded.

But Itachi's words, the tone and his choice of phrasing, is enough. Whatever game is being played, it's almost ... cruel.

It's difficult to break the habit, but Sasuke drops the Sharingan with a blink, relaxes his stance into something less immediately ready to attack, though his hand continues to rest casually on the hilt of Kusanagi. As much physical comfort as anything else, the feel of a weapon in hand.

His tone is as carefully blank as he can make it, and it occurs to him that perhaps it would be kinder not to say it. He says it anyway:]

Don't lie anymore. I already know the truth.

[The way Sasuke reacts, the switching of his stance, those words... they cause Itachi to feel as though the bottom of his stomach has dropped out. A slight widening of his eyes is all that changes in his expression, even as he's afraid he might stop breathing completely.

He stands up fully now, wiping some of the remaining water away with the back of one hand. His brother has dropped his Sharingan purposefully. To put him more at ease? The reaction should have been just the opposite. Still, he lets his eyes go black as well.]

And what part of what I just said was a lie?

[No matter the reason, he had been responsible for assisting in the murder of his clan. The choice to do that, and to take the steps laid out for him after, had been his own.]

[They're looking at each other now, weighing facts against reality, and Sasuke is in the middle of a war, but he can't not notice how small Itachi is, at 13. What the purpose of showing him this, he can't begin to guess; all he feels is the still-smouldering echo of rage spark, the anger that he knows now is apparently part of his genetic heritage as much as the Sharingan.

His voice stays steady, and he makes a point to hold Itachi's eyes.]

Nothing.

The lies came before that. They would have come after that, too. [He thumbs very slightly at the edge of Kusanagi's hilt, betrayal of some of the internal unrest.]

You chose our paths for years. [Or should he have said you will?] I know how and why, now.

[He can't know. He isn't meant to know.

Frantic, irrational thoughts are pulled to the surface. Fear that he would fail, that all of his plans would fall short of their goals, soon followed. It's nothing that hasn't already bothered him, even before the actual act was carried out.

It tears at him now. If this is Sasuke, and he knows the truth... but on the other hand, he doesn't look bad. He looks strong, sure of himself. Even as he flounders internally, he can't help but be proud of him for that. If. If

Teeth clench behind closed lips and a certain sharpness reaches his eyes. Everything crumbles in an instant into what he believes might actually be clarity. He knows what this has to be. An eerie calm has seeped into his voice when he speaks.]

You.

You are a manifestation. My guilt given solid form. A test of my resolve.

[Possibly even created unconsciously through his own chakra. There is little sense to this in reality, but at this point in time Itachi's mindset is a more fragile thing than he'd let on.]

[It's -- it's still bizarre, the notion of Itachi having guilt. The awareness of it is fresh, the loss of him a second time (a knowing time, the loss of the entirety of his brother and not just the image this one is so desperately trying to construct) still bleeding its disbelieving truth into Sasuke's mind. That Itachi felt guilt even now should likely be something he knows, but to know it directly like this is something completely different from extrapolating.

Telling Itachi the truth was unkind, but Sasuke doesn't particularly know how to be kind -- but he can try, inasmuch as Uchiha kindness passes for it. He pauses for the first time, thinking about his words in a way to which he is deeply unaccustomed, and finally:]

I thought I hated you for a long time. [And even through all of that hatred he'd known his own choice had made it so, that Itachi had been the fulcrum on which his life turned.] I was angry at you after that, even after I knew I had failed to understand you.

Your resolve never falters. [If this is a genjutsu -- the Hokages' or less likely Madara's -- that is no piece of information that they don't already know, that isn't already writ large on their history. And the emphasis is clear, because Sasuke knows full well how his own choices have been made.]

You understood what I wanted you to understand.

[A kunai has slipped into his hand again and he lets it dangle from one finger.]

You saw what I wanted you to see.

[The sharpness in his eyes is too sharp, his stance casual and coiled all at once.]

Do you think this is what I want to see now? What I want to hear? Are you hoping to comfort me?

You are not part of my reality, and I intend to wake myself from yours.

[With that, he raises the kunai and proceeds to drive it down toward his own thigh.]

[And he did, and no more. He wonders now if even the whispers of Madara he'd tracked down before killing Itachi (the first time) had been deliberate, for all that Itachi had hoped to keep Sasuke in the dark for Konoha's sake. It's a thought that distracts just long enough that his eyes snap to attention, startled, when he catches the edge to Itachi's voice.

(Itachi, or an image of Itachi, but convincing: precious few genjutsu masters could come up with such detail to pit against even Sasuke's greying memories, and almost none able to reproduce the way Itachi speaks to him. Like he is seven forever, a thoughtless child.)]

We are Uchiha. We don't comfort -- [But he sees the blade and reacts before he can interpret his own body -- snatches a hand out to wrap it around the blade, halting it midair.

He has to drop to a crouch to do it, this Itachi is so much shorter, and it burns to realise just how small he is.]

Neither your Sharingan nor mine could shred this. Pain won't end it!

Edited 2013-10-22 16:27 (UTC)

[As Sasuke gets close, the red of the Sharingan flares back into Itachi's eyes. It's a desperate, last-ditch attempt to bring some clarity to all of this. He might be able to catch the older teen unprepared, getting into his mind to pull out the answers he needs.

The problem with this, of course, is that Sasuke's own Sharingan (especially at this point) is stronger than his own. It's just a risk he's willing to take. Three tomoe spin into the mangekyo as he attempts to re-shape their surroundings via genjutsu.]

[He sees it, the Mangekyou that formed his childhood nightmares, and for a second the instinct flares to respond with his own, to shove the intrusion out of his mind. But he breaks the instinct: whether this is Itachi or not will become clear through his Mangekyou, the specific feel of the chakra in this particular Sharingan. The Hokage don't know -- can't know -- the precise feel of this specific Tsukuyomi, however much they might know about its formation.

And even if they do, even if this is someone else's genjutsu ... Sasuke has nothing left to hide. Not secrets, nor intentions.

He deliberately tamps down his own chakra and allows the intrustion.]

[There's no resistance. Sasuke is letting him in, and the moment he steps into that mindscape it's painfully apparent that this is, in fact, his brother. There simply is no duplicating the sensation of an individual's chakra on this level.

The world is dark now, nothing but the figure of Sasuke in front of him. He pries, searching for his own reflection in the other's mind. All in all, he touches very little. Despite the image he's still trying to hold up, he can only allow himself to dig so far. He doesn't have to, anyway. It's all on the surface, not a single lie to be found.

He stops himself from doing much else, dropping the genjutsu moments after he started it, pulling himself back into reality. It's too much, physically and mentally. He didn't have the energy for what he'd done, and he's left as a shaky mess afterward, thoughts swimming as much as his vision is.]

[They seem to realise it at the same time: this is reality, however it's happened. Sasuke hadn't believed it, not fully -- would rather have bought into a complicated genjutsu, Madara's demented Moon's Eye plan fulfilled in an equally demented way -- but this is Itachi's 13-year-old Tsukuyomi, chakra the familiar stuff of fear but not strong enough to break Sasuke now.

Not strong enough by far. The genjutsu breaks in seconds and Sasuke is left looking at a clearly exhausted small version of his brother.

It takes a moment, instincts like this not honed in him, before he reaches out to steady Itachi by the shoulder. The movement is hesitant in a way Sasuke rarely is, but he's deliberate about his words.]

Nii-san. You didn't have the chakra for that.

[Is he being scolded? By Sasuke?

Even seeing this older version of his brother, the mental image he has is still that of the child he left behind. Having him speak to him in that tone is just too much on top of everything else. He has no rebuttal to offer, because Sasuke is right.

His eyes trail down the teen's arm until he's staring at the hand on his shoulder. He takes his own hand, lifts it, holds it up alongside that one to compare the size. His eyes are dark, unfocused, when he looks back to the other again.

Then he promptly sits right down.]

[It's cognitive dissonance to the nth degree already, needing to look down and the extent to which he had to lean over in order to reach Itachi's shoulder. When Itachi raises his own hand it becomes even stranger, because Sasuke can tell what he is doing -- is mentally making the comparison himself.

He tightens his grip on reflex when Itachi flops down to sitting, easing the weight of the fall by a bit, but he has to let go in order to remain standing. Belatedly, he remembers that he grabbed that kunai by the sharp part and notices a hint of blood along Itachi's shoulder; his arm guards don't guarded the entirety of his palm.

Now he's looking down at Itachi from a height and he cannot remember looking down on his brother like this in his life (unless from the top of a structure, calling lightning), and after a short moment he crouches down so that their gazes are at least slightly on a level. He's neither tired nor unwary enough to sit completely just yet, and that Itach is can only mean ...]

... when was the last time you ate? [He doesn't mention the massacre, not yet.]

[Stop showing such concern, he wants to say. He needs his brother's hatred. He needs to know that Sasuke can take vengeance for his clan. But he can't get the words to form, can't do much else at the moment besides just breathe.

After a moment, he reaches a hand to his belt, fumbling with one of the small pouches there, and pulls out a package food pills. It slips from his fingers as it's nearly all the way out, tumbling to the ground in front of him but thankfully spilling nothing. He stares at it, hand falling back to his side again.

He shakes his head. It's the only answer he can offer, mind reeling as it is. He's disgusted with himself for how shaken this has left him, but it's hard to react any other way.]

[... that's as clear an answer as many. Even if Konohagakure's food pills are better than most (whichever Hokage had convinced the Akimichi to join the village had made a wise decision), they're not actually substitute for real food for long, more a punch of nutrients and caffeine.

Sasuke picks up the dropped pouch, giving it an assessing shake for content, and is on the verge of handing it back when another glance at Itachi's expression gives him pause.

It is abundantly clear that now is clearly not the time for any complicated discussion, and he voices the thought out loud --]

... maybe you should just sleep.

[As much as he doesn't want to admit it, Sasuke is right. He's no good for any conversation as he is. Even if he hadn't worn himself out completely, his mind just isn't in the right place for this. He needs some time to think, to take all of this in and not let his emotions do the responding for him.

Slowly, he gathers his remaining reserves and raises himself back up onto his feet, unsteady but upright.]

...Someplace better than here.

[Watching Itachi stand makes Sasuke wish Juugo were here -- easily the most useful and least contentious member of his unexpectedly restored party -- even with their differences in size, carrying Itachi through the underbrush would leave them making slow progress. And that's assuming Sasuke could get the bizarre offer out of his mouth.]

I assume you won't agree to sit here while I look.

[It's a dry statement -- Sasuke wouldn't, were their roles switched. If they're in a place where summons will answer, though ... he bites his thumb almost thoughtfully, tries for one of the hawks. They might serve useful to scan the island.]

I would rather not.

[The movement has Itachi watching curiously despite everything. A summoning jutsu. What does his brother have to summon, he wonders?

It soon becomes clear that he's not going to find out just yet. The summoning itself does nothing. Either Sasuke messed something up, which he doubts, or the summons simply doesn't work here.

His eyes turn upwards, searching, seeing what birds might be in the area. None that he's affected before, certainly, and he hardly has the chakra to stand, much less control anything.]

[Nothing happens, and it's been long enough since Sasuke learned to summon that it's a little disorienting. But given that they are nowhere Sasuke knows of and something has gone terribly wrong with time itself, perhaps it shouldn't be surprising.

He resists the urge to sigh in irritation and shifts to standing.]

Then we'll go on foot. [He glances at Itachi again in some doubt -- he looks ready to fall over from exhaustion, and some part of Sasuke is tempted to knock him out and put him somewhere for safekeeping until shelter is found. That's unlikely to work well, though.]

Stay behind me. [He draws a kunai and moves ahead, armed mostly to cut through the trailing underbrush.]

[Nodding, Itachi straightens. He's calmer now, focused on keeping himself together long enough to go where they need to go. When Sasuke starts moving, his brother follows. His steps are shaky at first, but it becomes a little easier once his body has come to terms with the fact that he isn't going to be resting just yet.

The boy's eyes fall on the Uchiha fan on the back of Sasuke's outfit. They stay there, holding the image in his sights as they walk. It becomes a focal point, something to keep being drawn toward even as it continues to move away from him. If it becomes too small, he hastens his pace. If Sasuke turns and it falls out of view, then he stops and waits for the other to move again.

This older version of his brother claims to know the truth about him. The fact that he continues to wear the symbol of their clan on him is a good thing, isn't it?]

[It's not a particularly hospitable island, but it's not hostile either -- Sasuke can't feel another chakra signal anywhere near them and there's no sign of human movement at all. The trees are dense enough to provide cover but nowhere near tall enough to allow travel through the branches, nothing even close to the Land of Fire's forests. The climate and foliage are nothing he's familiar with even after travelling with Orochimaru, and in general, he has no idea how he (they?) got here or why.

At least the land appears to be sloping up as they follow the trickle of water, giving way to rockier dirt and scragglier underbrush.

He glances back periodically to make sure that Itachi is still with him and hasn't quietly passed out, and it's weird to have his brother at his back without any sense of threat: but there it is, Itachi too chakra- and strength-depleted to radiate any of his usual subtle danger.]

You haven't stopped since leaving the village? [He pauses, and then -- just to confirm a timeline he already knows in general --] Where were you going?

[There's no immediate response because Itachi doesn't realize he's being spoken too. He's focused on following, on keeping one leg in front of the other. Once it does register it takes him another minute or so to get a response out around his breathing.

If Sasuke knows the truth about him, then he should know this answer anyway, but he doesn't have it in him to argue. He might just be making conversation, though there are certainly better times for it.]

...Akatsuki. [That one word is all he needs to get out, thankfully.]

[They break free of deep forest onto something resembling rock almost unexpectedly, and ahead of them is a too-convenient cave mouth. Sasuke stops in his tracks, hand back on his sword even though he still feels no other chakra, and takes the confirmation in stride.

He's reached a point by now, all the stories he's heard in the space of a few months tangled into disbelief and belief and unbelief all at once, that it is difficult to be surprised by anything less than world-changing.]

You said you woke here. Then you fell asleep on the way? [Which goes to show about how much awareness Itachi has left, which means --]

Stay here. I'll scout ahead and give the all-clear.

[Had he? He has to have fallen asleep in order to wake up, he supposes.

Right, he remembers. He'd stopped to rest. To nap a couple hours before continuing. He's not sure how much of that he'd actually achieved.

He answers Sasuke with a nod, but almost continues to follow him in before he recalls the command to stay put. He'd prefer to keep moving until he had to stop for good, but he can't put up much of an argument. So Itachi stays standing where he is, just trying to clear his head until his brother comes back.]

[Itachi looks like he's asleep on his feet by the time Sasuke returns, having swept the cave and found nothing but a few startled rodents, one of which he'd killed against the possibility they might be here long enough to need a meal. Itachi will probably need a meal well before then, even.

The situation is still bizarre to the extreme, but if there's anything dealing with Madara has inured him to, it's turning up in places he doesn't fully recall going to and needing to react to them immediately.

This, still is the weirdest part, because --]

... do you need me to carry you?

[The boy practically had been asleep, eyelids drooping most of the way shut only to pry themselves back open when Sasuke returned. His posture had become too relaxed, and he straitened himself up, staggering a little to regain his balance.

At the question, he frowns and shakes his head stubbornly. He'd gotten this far. He could make it a little further inside the cave without help. The image of him being carried by his little brother, rather than the other way around, is also just too much for him at the moment. It's his own fault he's in this current state and he can deal with the consequences.

So he forces himself to move and follow, limbs wanting to betray him at every step. Forcing one's body to go beyond its limits is something most shinobi have to do at some point.]

Edited 2013-10-31 16:01 (UTC)

for Pathy

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GONNA LET YOU PICK IF THEY CAN KUCHIYOSE IN THE SETTING :|b

leaving things like this up to me...

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ftr: i know nothing about desert island topography

don't think that matters much here!

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